Title: Rock Needs River Pdf A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption
From a story first told in the popular New York Times parenting blog comes a funny, touching memoir about a mother who welcomes more than a new daughter into her home.
After two years of waiting to adopt—slogging through paperwork and bouncing between hope and despair—a miracle finally happened for Vanessa McGrady. Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true. Then Vanessa made a highly uncommon gesture: when Grace’s biological parents became homeless, Vanessa invited them to stay.
Without a blueprint for navigating the practical basics of an open adoption or any discussion of expectations or boundaries, the unusual living arrangement became a bottomless well of conflicting emotions and increasingly difficult decisions complicated by missed opportunities, regret, social chaos, and broken hearts.
Written with wit, candor, and compassion, Rock Needs River is, ultimately, Vanessa’s love letter to her daughter, one that illuminates the universal need for connection and the heroine’s journey to find her tribe.
Not for me The first half of this 200-page book meandered through details of multiple messy relationships, often laced with infidelity. I catch myself rereading the book description to double check that the focus of the book would be adoption. The author finds someone special—Peter—a married man with teenager daughters. We learn details of Peter’s failed marriage and messy divorce. How embarrassing for Peter, his first wife, and their daughters—why should they be shamed in someone else’s memoir? Doesn’t that violate memoir etiquette?Eventually, the focus shifts to having a child and the painful journey to adoption. Enter Bill and Bridgett, a couple who are expecting and trying to find parents for their child. The author (and Peter) want this baby. The story bumps along, vague on adoption details, but soon they’re at home with their own baby girl! I wanted more about how the relationship between bio-parents and adoptive parents. Instead the focus was heavier on how Peter was a disappointment as a husband and father, and the dissolution of their marriage. Again, lots of Peter shaming. Even if everything said is true, why would anyone bash the father of their child in such a public way? So ugly and unnecessary.Finally, we get to Bill and Bridgett, the bio-parents. They went from just-getting-by to homeless. What stands out about this couple is they don’t ask for anything. They don’t ask to move in, but they accept the offer. Somehow Bill and Bridgett disappoint the author at every turn. They don't make the choices she expects them to make. They won't let her fix them and they back away when the author keeps pushing them to change. The author describes it as them being mad at her. She messaged them for years to get them to talk to her and when they finally agree to her requests for an interview about the adoption, she is devastated because they don’t say what she wants to hear. They chose her to be the mother of their child. Why is that not enough?Bill and Bridgett were self-aware enough to know they shouldn’t raise a child. I wonder if they regret open adoption. I hope they never read this book.
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